Would you like to hear a disgusting story?
And I mean really, really nasty.
If you have a genteel disposition, you may want to stop reading here, and go look at some more cat pictures on Facebook.
I mean it.
Okay, I'm taking a deep breath here, because this disgusting story is about me, and I'm about to be very honest and vulnerable here, and I'm risking the chance of being laughed at, which, of course, is not all that fun to live through.
So, here's my story.
Last week I got an awful stomach virus.
Really awful.
It caused things to shoot out both ends of me, kind of awful.
Yeah, and that's not even the disgusting part, that's just a fact.
So, this happened on a Friday, which meant I got to stay home from school (yea!), and go to the doctor (not so yea) and barf in hallway trashcan while being wheeled into his office because I couldn't even walk (yuck).
Well, Friday was going to be my lesson planning day at school, and since I couldn't be there, I decided to go in to school on Saturday and do some work. By that time, the meds the doctor had given me had started to work their magic, and I was much less....um....shall we say, combustable? Or so I thought....
Get ready, the really gross part is coming up, and you're not gonna want to miss it.
So, I'm sitting at my computer, typing away, when I feel some rumblin' in my tummy, and it feels like I'm getting gassy. I feel the urge to release some of said gas, and not really paying attention because I'm so focused on my work, I go ahead and let a fart slide on out.
That's not the only thing that slid out.
2.3 seconds later I have sprinted my way out of the classroom, down the hall, and into the restroom.
But the damage was done.
Now, I had a choice to make. I could either continue to crap my pants, or I could clean myself up and remember not to fart for the rest of the day.
Of course, I chose the latter. Who wouldn't right?
But here's something else that's disgusting me lately:
When I have an accident with my eating, instead of cleaning myself up and getting back on track and reminding myself not to do that again, I go ahead and let loose, crapping all over my hard work by binging or just not being careful with what I put in my mouth.
When am I going to learn that this mess that is my my overweight body doesn't have to stay like this?
When am I finally going to get it?
This afternoon I put together our family monthly budget. We try to itemize everything that we spend money on, and save money for. This line stuck out to me like a sore thumb, or something that really sticks out a lot...
Weight Watchers $40/month
I realized I'm actually paying $40 a month to NOT do the Weight Watchers program. I've actually been paying to fail. How incredible stupid is that? I wouldn't do that with other things. I don't pay $40/month to NOT use my cell phone. Or $100/month to pour water down the drain without using it. Why in the (insert your favorite expletive here) am I paying $40/month if I'm not going to follow the program? That just does not make any sense at all.
So, I told myself to either get on Program, or get the (again, insert expletive here) out!
I have one month to get my butt in gear and on Program, or I'm pulling the financial plug. There's no reason to be paying $480 every year to NOT be losing weight.
