Times, They Are a-Changin'!!

I imagine that there are few people who are as technology-rich, and yet media-poor as I am.  I have lots of fun, technologically amazing toys at my disposal here at home, and even at work...and yet, I remain in a media black hole.

I don't watch TV.
It's true.  I don't
Hey, don't laugh.
Or gasp in horror and disbelief.
Not everyone needs TV, you know.

And it's not like I don't watch anything at all.  About two or three times a month I get to watch a DVD or go out to a movie.  And it's not like I'm ANTI-TV and PRO-book...although I do spend a lot of time reading.  It's just that I'm too cheap to pay for cable, and for 6 years we had really crappy reception and didn't really get anything except public television, and even that was sporadic the last 3 years.  So, we just got used to no TV in our house.

Sometimes no TV is a really good thing.  I don't have to sit through commercials.  Or be inundated with visions of extra-large helpings of unhealthy foods.  But, I also don't get the news.  Or even more important, previews for rock-awesome movies that are coming out.  (Hee-hee, Green Lantern you so amuse me!)  I usually listen to news radio while in the car to get my news, but it's Christmastime, y'all, and I've had my dial permanently set on the local 24-hour-a-day Christmas marathon since Nov. 1st.  I know, it's a sickness.

And though I don't usually mind not knowing what's going on...(hey, keep that snarky comment to yourself!  I can hear you thinking!)...I just recently found out about something in the past few weeks that completely shocked me.

Uh oh, I've built it up now.
I've given it this big ol' build-up, and now I've got performance anxiety...(oooh, wait, does that refer to what I think it refers to?).
I'm afraid I've put this news on a pedestal and once you find out what it is, you're not really going to care.
It may be a great big deal to me, and not mean squat to you.
And if it does, well...
it's my blog, so deal with it.


:O)

So, here's the big news....
DRUM ROLL, PLEASE!

Weight Watchers has a new program!
Ta da!!!!

Are those crickets chirping?


Come on, people, this is big!!
Weight Watchers has being doing the same ol' Points for over a decade!
And yeah, it's worked, but now they're re-vamping it, and I've heard some rumors about some things that I'm really excited about.

If you are a fellow Weight Watcher-er, then you probably already heard that this change is coming along.  The big reveal starts tomorrow, and since I have access to the WW site as an online member, I should be able to find the skinny on what's going on tomorrow instead of waiting for my weekly meeting on Saturday.

I know some fellow Weight Watcher-ers are feeling a little bit of trepidation about the changes, but I say BRING IT ON!  A fresh start is just what I need to get my butt in gear.

So, I'm lurking, lurking, lurking, on the internet now, trying to find out clues to the new plan.  I was hoping that the WW website would be updated on New York time, so I could check it out before I went to bed, and last time I checked, the site was down and under construction.  Hopefully the changes will be posted quickly.

Oooh, I'm giddy.

Back to Basics : BRIBERY 101

I've been having a hard time tracking my food for awhile now.
Say....the past 3 years of Weight Watchers.
And so I'm going back to what I know works for me...bribery.
Yes friends, it's true, I can be bribed.  And how!!

I've told myself that if I can track my points honestly until Thanksgiving, then on Black Friday I will treat myself to something fun that I want.  So far, it's working marvelously.  I've been tracking like a fiend.  I may not necessarily be staying within my points, but that wasn't one of the stipulations.  I only have to track, and be honest, that's it.  But I'm finding that tracking my points is leading me to eating within my points range.  Nobody likes to have a negative balance.

I've gone through half of my weekly points so far, but I have some activity points racked up as well, and I'm really hoping that this week I'll see a loss, even with Thanksgiving.

I don't know why putting things down on paper is so hard for me to do.
It's hard with points and food, but it's also hard with money.
I'll be honest, I'm not the best at budgeting and keeping track of our finances.
I let Koichi be in charge of that, but recently we decided to put Lily in preschool and that's an extra $300 a month.  We weren't sure that we'd be able to afford that, but after crunching the numbers we realized that we *SHOULD* be able to afford that.  However, our money is disappearing somewhere...mostly to places like Sonic, McDonalds, and in Koichi's case, to George Lucas because of his Star Wars addiction.

So, I bought Quicken, a money management software, downloaded it, set up all our checking/saving/credit accounts, and had a great big wake up call about where all our money is going.  Let's just say that Mr. Lucas is probably putting his grandkids through college thanks to us.  Somebody in this house is about to get his credit card snipped if we don't get things set straight.

Even though it was a big ol' slap in the face to see how much money has been wasted, it's a great wake up call to our potential savings if we get our act together.

Similarly, when I track my food, and am eating mindfully instead of mindlessly, I can really stretch those points, stay full, and still lose weight.  It's all about being deliberate, thoughtful and mindful.

Thank you bribery, for teaching me a valuable lesson.

Watch for Falling Rocks!

Okay...so I am having a complete and utter cave-in at the moment.
I've been pretty good all week.
Even though it's been hard.
And tiring.
And I've been dealt a week with constant, daily headaches and backaches.
And yet, I persevered.

Until tonight.
I'm making a bad choice.
But at least I'm owning it.

I just ordered pizza.
Of the meat-loving persuasion.
And I'm going to eat it.
With a breadstick.
Or two.
And drown my sorrows in marinara sauce.
And I'm going to be okay with it.
Because I'm feeling pretty down right now, and I want some comfort food.
So, damn it, I'm gonna have it.

I used to think I was depressed, when I was growing up.
I'd have these awful mood swings, and such severe depression where I sometimes thought life was just too hard to bother with struggling through.
I realize now,
that all those strong, overwhelming feelings and emotions --
the utter waterfall of despair, anger, feelings of worthlessness, pain, and even desire,
are none other than the awful byproduct of
PMS.

I don't know if other women go through this.
I can't imagine that I'm feeling this alone.
I mean, that's why men fear those three little letters more than any others, right?
Because women get so crazy.
So, I can't be all alone.
Surely other people out there lose their ability to control their emotions for two weeks out of every month, and ride the roller coaster of feeling absolutely elated one moment, and in total and absolute despair the next.

Hmmm...if it's not PMS, then I'm probably bipolar...and they have medication for that.  So that wouldn't be all that bad.
Maybe.

But they don't put anti-emotion medication in Pamprin, unfortunately.
So while I suffer through this,
at least I'm going to have a slice of cheesy goodness in my hand.

Shifting from Second to Third

I'm at a crossroad.  I'm not seeing the results I want to see at this point.
It could be that I'm doing everything half-assed.
I do realize that's likely the problem.
I track my eating half-assed.
I exercise half-assed.
I make half-assed choices.

Okay...now I'm having a very strange visual of what it would actually look like to indeed have half of an ass.  Not a pretty picture.  What a strange little euphemism we English-speakers have for ourselves.  I wonder where it came from.  But, I digress.

I've been stuck here in second gear, and I'm trying to talk myself into really revving things up and getting serious with myself and my weight loss and move it into third gear.  Unfortunately, I've never really driven a manual transmission car before, and I blame the grinding of my gears on that fact alone.  Okaaaaaay....I guess that doesn't really make any sense.  But it sounded good in my head.

Alright, so here's the bad...
I gained 4# during my 2 week hiatus from Weight Watchers, while I was traveling to Colorado Springs.  I came back last Saturday, knowing that I'd have a gain, but I didn't think it would be THAT bad.  It was THAT bad though, my friends.

But, here's the good...
I think the gain helped shock me into some action.  Right after WW's I was planning on going home because my daughter had her first dance class that morning.  (And it was SO CUTE to see a bunch of 3-year olds prancing around in leotards.  You couldn't help but smile like a big geek the whole time.)  I had enough time after WW to exercise, but not enough time to shower off the sweaty, exercise goo before her class.

A great excuse to not even bother exercising, right?!
Well...I got over myself.  Slowly.  And decided to go for a walk instead of hitting the elliptical at the gym.  I went to one of my favorite walking parks, in 31 degree weather, and walked 2 miles.  Briskly.  It was only 31 degrees, after all.

So, that was a plus.
Yea me!

I just wish all these little, good things that I did for myself added up to more.
Like right now I have a half-empty bottle of water next to me.  That's progress!  I haven't drunk water in months, friends.  Cans of Pibb Zero have been my constant companion, and though I still do drink more diet soda than should be physically possible, I'm trying (slowly) to increase my water consumption, and (hopefully!) decrease the amount of pop ("soda" for you weirdoes) I ingest in a day.

So, I have to get myself motivated enough to make these little changes into bigger changes.
I do have the motivation of wanting to have another child, now that Lily has calmed down considerably.  For three years, she was the best form of birth control I could have possibly asked for.  But, she's better now.  And I keep thinking that if God is good, then there is no way He could do that to me twice.

So, there's the baby aspect to help with motivation.  And if Koichi ever gets a daytime job, then I want my body ready for some baby-making.  [Dear God, Five years of working nights is killing me.  Please give my husband a daytime job.  I would like to see him for more than 4 hours per week.  Amen.]

And, in addition, we have a trip coming up this summer.
It was going to be a trip to Hawaii....but we decided to cancel the trip to Hawaii because of costs.
And we're just going to spend three weeks or so in Japan instead.
Oh, boo-hoo, right?  Yeah, I'm not too upset about that, either.
It would have been nice to experience Hawaii for the first time, but this way we'll be able to spend more time with Koichi's family, and I think it will be less stressful overall.

So, I would love, love, LOVE to be at or really near my goal weight by next summer.
But to do that, I have to get my tuckus in gear.  Like, really, really, in gear.  No more sliding into second.

Here's to really, really getting with the program...
and tracking my eating,
exercising daily (I really can do it, even if I don't want to!)
eating within my points,
and drinking more water.

I know what I need to do to make it.
I have the keys to success in my hand.
Now, I just have to get my motor revving, and shift it into a higher gear.