The Big Five-Oh!

Today was a good day.

It was Weigh-In-Saturday at Weight Watchers this morning.
And it was totally awesome, because I have finally hit the 50 lb mark!  (Fifty-two to be exact.)

I am now at 240.2 pounds of Dorian lusciousness.
I am 23 lbs. lighter than when I graduated from college.
I am only 9 lbs. away from being the smallest I've ever been in my adult life.
I am 10 lbs. lighter than my driver license says that I am (and we all know THAT was a total lie for so many years).
I am merely 20 lbs. away from my weight at 16 years of age.

Let's face it.
I AM  a rock star.  Boo-yeah.

So I'm feeling good about me today.  I'm starting to feel good on the inside as well as the outside.  My knees don't hurt quite as much.  I'm having fewer headaches than I had in the past.  My back doesn't hurt quite as bad at the end of the day.  And my inner self-talk is much more positive than negative.  I'm starting to say things to myself like, "You can totally do this!"

OH!  And I have to tell you about this AMAZING accomplishment I had at the gym on Friday.
I took Lily with me, and while she was playing in the kids' club, I was working my ass tail off (quite literally) on this weird elliptical/treadmill/stair stepper hybrid.  It's called an "adaptive motion trainer."  I've included a link to a video on how it works, just in case you're itching to know what it does.  For the short version of what it does, let me tell you, It kicks butts and is taking names!

Okay, so I'm on the freaky, hybrid machine, which is actually a lot of fun because it has this neat little bounce to it, and it really doesn't put stress on my knees, which is what I like about the elliptical.  I like to imagine it's what it would feel like to exercise on the moon.  And as I'm watching an episode of Glee,  45 minutes pass by and I hardly notice.

The thing about the freaky, hybrid machine though, is that it REALLY works me out, and it's somewhat difficult to really cool down on it.  So, I decided to move over to the treadmill and walk slowly for a few minutes to my cool down groove on.  But, when I stepped on there, I couldn't help thinking, "Gee, it's been a long time since I've ran on the treadmill.  I wonder if I can still run for 30 seconds without stopping?"

So, I bumped up the speed till I was running, and 30 seconds went by....and then....ANOTHER 30 seconds went by.  And I didn't die!  Even after a whole sustained minute of running, I wasn't in pain, or so short of breath that I'd be in danger of passing out.  It was...well, it was ok.  And it was so ok, that I thought I'd go ahead and give it another try in a couple of minutes.  And so I did.

And did again.

And did again.

And then the last time, I wondered how long I could run without stopping, before my legs started really complaining.  Well, it turns out that I was able to make it to the 2-minute mark!  This was very exciting for me.  I haven't run in several months.  I wasn't sure I even could.  Two minutes may not seem like a very long time, but for someone who is carrying around 80 lbs. of extra fat on their body, running for any length of time is somewhat of a miracle.

But here's the REALLY miraculous part:
As we were leaving the gym, I asked Lily if she had fun.  She said she did, and before I could think to stop it, I said, "Me, too."


I don't think I've EVER felt like exercise was fun.  Unless you're a masochistic psycho who considers an hour of torture fun, which I'm not.

But Friday night, for the first time that I can ever recall happening, working out was actually fun.
Who knew THAT was possible?
Personally, I think that change in attitude is just as much of an accomplishment as losing 50 pounds.

Another Pound (or two) Bites the Dust!

Yes, yes, yes!!  For three weigh-ins in a row, I've been on the losing side.  And when you're trying to lose weight, being on the losing side is a good thing.  I've lost 8 lbs in 4 weeks (I skipped a weigh in because of that mean ol' Aunt Flo), and I'm super-duper happy with myself.

I am getting close to being in uncharted territory for me.  Uncharted territory is a weight that I have not been in during my adult life.  I'm within 15 pounds of being at my lowest weight (since I started paying attention to my weight when I graduated from college).  My lowest weight within my adult history is 232.  I remember the day that I reached that weight.  It was pre-Lily, while I was still living in Colorado Springs. After Weight Watchers I went to my friend Tracy's house for a Creative Memories scrapbook party.  I was so excited to be the lowest weight I'd ever been, and to be sporting the smallest size jeans I'd ever worn as an adult, size 18.

I'm not quite back into the size 18's yet.  I tried a pair of size 18 jeans this morning just to be sure.  I can get them on, and even buttoned, but they create quite the unattractive muffin top, and I'm not about to knowingly do that to myself.  Besides, just a few more weeks of continued dedication and I'll be able to wear them without the problem of looking like any sort of baked good.

This is really exciting for me.  I tried on those same pair of jeans this past winter, and I couldn't even get them over my big ol' booty, much less have any hope of getting them buttoned.  I love this kind of affirmation that I'm actually doing something right and making some progress.  When I tried on clothes a few weeks ago on a big ol' Back to School shopping spree, I was really surprised that I was buying pants that were 2 sizes smaller than I was wearing only a few months ago.  I honestly thought that clothes sizes were really getting larger, not that I was getting any smaller.  Being able to get those size 18's on today though, helped me to really see that progress is happening.

Yea for smaller clothes!!  Hopefully soon I won't have to shop in the chubby chicka stores anymore.  I will not be sad to say goodbye to the overpriced Lane Bryant, Catherine's, and CJ Banks.  I will, however, still continue to shop at Torrid, because they have extremely awesome clothes, even if they are a little pricy sometimes.  But I am INCREDIBLY excited by the prospect of someday, in the foreseeable future, being able to shop at a REGULAR sized clothing store.  Ahhh....wouldn't that be oh, so lovely!

Just When You Think I'm Gone...

Poof!  I'm back!!

Now, don't go and get all excited now and start breaking out the popcorn.  Who knows just how long this will last.  I just knew that I needed to get some things off my chest and into the vast wasteland of the internet.

So....there's some good news and then some bad news.
Let's start with the good news, shall we?

Over the course of the past 3 weeks I've managed to lose 6-ish pounds.  I'm sure this is most likely due to the overtaking physical demands of getting up off my lazy summer butt, putting my classroom back together and actually working again.  Luckily, my butt didn't have the opportunity to suffer from too much summeritis due to working for 5 weeks in the dark bowls of Hell summer school.  Then, I was so lucky to get incredibly sick for about 2 weeks, where I could barely eat, or even move other than to run to the restroom ever so quickly and delicately.  You know the diarrhea dance, don't you?  You can't break into an all-out run, because things can leak.  You have to do a quick little hopping movement, dancing on your toes, not unlike a ballet dancer en pointe suffering from acute dysentery.  What a beautiful moment I've just created for you in your head.  Aren't you lucky?  Luckier than I was for two weeks, I can tell you that.

The amazing thing about that experience was that I lost 15 pounds in two days.  That's right, two days!  And as soon as I started to feel better, and could actually eat again, I gained it all back in 5.  That was not to amazing, I guess.  But, it's okay.  I knew it wouldn't last.  It was just nice to see those numbers on the scale.  Numbers I hadn't seen in years.

So that gave me motivation, I guess, to actually get back on track.
And that brings me to my present loss.  Six pounds over the past few weeks has brought me down to losing 45.4 lbs. total so far.  Yea me!!  Getting awfully close to that 50 pound mark.

So that's the good news.

Here's the bad...

For the past 3 summers I've gone in for a yearly physical.  It took my brother passing away for me to start to do this, to be aware of what is going on with my body, and to try to take responsibility for keeping it healthy.

Well, this last time, some of my blood work came back funky.  Evidently some enzyme for some liver function is either too high, or too low, or something.  Whatever it is, it's not doing what it's supposed to do.  So, my doctor ordered a Hepatitis B test, as well as a sonogram of my liver.  Negative on the Hep B test.  Yea!  Not so great prognosis on the sonogram.

Evidently, the sonogram shows that my liver is fatty and enlarged.  Now my doc is sending me to a GI specialist to get more info.  I have yet to have that meeting, but from what I've learned from my research so far (thank you Internet, I love you!) is that if I start being more careful about the amount of fat that I eat, and lose weight gradually to a healthy weight, then my condition can be pretty much reversed.  If I don't make these attempts, then there is the possibility that I will contract cirrhosis of the liver, which can be fatal.

Bad, bad news.
And yet, there is a silver lining.

God knows that sometimes we need a 2x4 smack to the head before we'll move our stubborn selves to action.  I guess seeing the failing health of family members and the death of my brother due to obesity just wasn't enough to get me to do what I know needs to be done.  God had to scare me into action....and so far it's working.

I'm scared.  And I'm acting.  First week of school, and I've been going to the gym, and eating within my points.  I'm even using Weight Watchers "Simply Filling" technique, which is eating almost entirely from vegetables, fruits, lean meats, whole grains, legumes...all that healthy, natural crap that I've been trying hard to avoid dealing with for so long.

Turns out, it's not so bad to eat healthy crap.
And if it means that I'll actually be a thinner, healthier person who has a beautiful, healthy liver, then I'm happy to have the chance to change things around and do it.  Finally.

The Road Less Taken

I find myself this week having traveled on the road less taken.
At least, it's been less taken by me over the course of about a year now.
It's the road towards good health.
And I finally got on it!  At least for a week.  Oooh, a week and a day now!  I'm on my way to actually making this a habit if I'm not careful.

My Weight Watcher leader, Becky, issued a 12-week challenge for all of us Weight Watchers who have difficulty...or inertia....when it comes to tracking what we're eating.  So, we have a 12 week tracking challenge, and I accepted the call.

Thank God she sent out an email the next day to remind us, because I'd already forgotten about it.

But, her email spurred me to action, and not only did I track that day, but I've tracked every morsel of food I've eaten for the past 8 days.  I began by telling myself that it didn't matter if I went over my daily Points Plus allotment, the object of the game was just to track what I ate.  And at first, I did go over my Points.  By a lot!  But throughout the week, I stuck to it, and even exercised, which helped me earn back some of those points.  And by the end of the week, I had only eaten one point more than I was allotted.

That one little point didn't seem to do too much damage though.
Because I lost 3.6 pounds this last week, my friends!
I'm doing a lot of celebrating because I'm only 2 pounds away from the lowest I've been since I started Weight Watchers, AND I've lost 40 lbs. since I first started Weight Watchers, which was not all that long after Lily was born.

It's taking me awhile to get the hang of it, but at least the scale is going down bit by bit!
I'm just so incredibly proud of myself.

Another proud moment just happened today.  My family went out to an AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS Italian buffet called Cinzetti's.  (And yes, it's so good that I had to say AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS in capital letters.  It really is that good.)

Yesterday evening, I actually planned out exactly what I wanted to eat today for lunch.  I started with desert, knowing that I wanted some of several things, and then worked my way backwards to main course, and then starters.  I added up all the WW points that it would take, and even though this one meal used all of my daily points, plus a big chunk of my weekly bonus points, I thought it was worth it.

And you know what?
It SOOOOOO was!!

I started out with a big antipasto plate filled with fruit, veggies, and salad.  Then, I went back for some chicken, fried rice balls, glazed carrots, and fried potato pancakes.

Dessert was half of a molten chocolate cake, bread pudding with vanilla sauce, ice cream, and tiramisu.

Was it a lot?
YES!
Am I stuffed?
YES!
Is that okay as long as I count it and am accountable for what I choose to eat?
YOU BET YOUR ASS!  YES!

I'm just really, really happy with myself, in spite of eating so much I felt the need to unbutton my pants on the drive home.  In the past (and by "the past" I mean 2 weeks ago), I would have eaten that much, and maybe even more, and not have been at all mindful of how many points the food was worth, much less bother to look it up and write it all down.

So yea me!  Unbuttoned shorts and all!

The Game

There's a game that I play every Friday night.
It's called:  How Little Can She Eat?

I hate being wrapped up in this game.  The game takes place because of my Saturday morning weigh in at Weight Watchers.  See, if I don't eat very much on Friday night, then I have a better chance of losing a couple pounds (more like ounces though) on Saturday morning.

I'm trying hard to get my mind out of this game though, because I know it is really a sign that I'm still treating this whole thing as a diet, and not a change towards a healthy lifestyle.

So, I tried harder today to not play the game so much.  I ate all of my points for the day, just most of them before dinner time, so I'd have to have a small dinner: popcorn and an apple with peanut butter.  There is no other day of the week where I would call that dinner.  So, okay, I'm not fixed yet.  I'm still broken.

I wonder how long it's going to take to get through my thick skull that I need to do more than the minimum, because the minimum is not working worth crap.  I've just been barely inching down the scale, only losing about 20 pounds in a year.  That's pretty pathetic.

So, I've got to get my head out of this game.  Because it's not a game, it's my health, and ultimately my life, and I only have one life, no Super Star Power, no Magic Mushrooms, and no way to earn Extra Lives.  I am not Princess Peach, and this is not Mario Brothers, so I need to stop living like it is.  Even if I am cute and blonde.

Money Maker

I'm just going to say it.

I like to boogie.

There.  It's out.  No more hiding this deep inside me like it's some kind of dirty secret.

Oh, I see your little smile.  You must not understand.
I don't like to just dance.  Not that dancing isn't fun.
I'm not talking tap, ballet, or interpretive dancing.

Oh no.
I'm talking boogie.

Butt shakin',
Hip thrustin',
Naughty grindin',
Pole dancin',
I'm-surprised-no-one's-trying-to-shove-money-down-my-pants-boogie-style-dancing.

I'd like to take this moment to say how thankful I am that I was raised in a Southern Baptist home where this kind of dancing was deemed as a one-way road to hell strongly frowned upon.  It helped keep me decent.  If I had been born into a non-Christian, non-religious family, I likely would have ended up as a go-go table dancer or a stripper.  The thought of that frightens me now.

Anyway, all this has recently come to mind because, after weeks and weeks of being away, I have finally returned to Zumba.  If you've never seen Zumba, it's a Latin-based, dance aerobic workout.  It's a lot of fun.  It's very sweat-inducing.  And when it's lead by a booty-shaking leader, who I think secretly wants to be a go-go dancer, it can get a little risque.  BUT IT'S SO MUCH FUN!!

I'd forgotten how much fun it is to shake my groove thang.
It was nice to be reminded that even though I'm sweating and exercising, I can still have fun.

I like to boogie.
I like the night life.

Crap on a stick.

That's how I feel.  Like crap on a stick.

I'm so disgusted with myself.  This is not where I wanted to see myself a quarter of the way through the year.  I have lost virtually no weight, and I can't seem to get my butt in gear for the long haul.  I'll be okay for a few days, and then something will happen, and my whole motivation will get derailed.

I know what I need to do.
It's not a matter of knowing better, because I do know better.
It's a matter of commitment.
It's a matter of wanting to be thin more than I want to stuff my face.

I think part of the problem is that I don't truly believe I can do it.  I've never done it in the past, so I must not be capable of losing a significant amount of weight. I know that's a crappy thing to say to myself, but it's kinda how I feel right now, and I'm just having a hard time believing in me.

So, what am I going to do with myself, hmmm?
Am I going to spend another day stuffing my face with whatever I feel like, or am I actually going to take control of my eating and my bad habits and do something healthy with my body?

I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings.
I hope it brings a better attitude than this though, because this is just shitty.

Oink! Oink!

Do you hear that sound?

Oink!  Oink!

No, it's not me.  Dork.
It's the sound of the all-too-ubiquitous gym hog.

Gym hogs are running rampant around 24 Hour Fitness.  No doubt other gyms are also infested with their presence.

Luckily, the gym hog seems to have a three day lifespan:  Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  By Thursday afternoons, very few gym hogs can be spotted hogging the treadmills, ellipticals, and weight machines.

However, taking three days a week out of my exercise routine because of gym hogs is getting a little annoying.  I try really hard to beat the stampede hog-pede that envelopes the gym by 4:30 in the afternoon, but they nearly always are already there, hogging around.

It's really frustrating.  I was all gung-ho to do this Couch to 5K thing, but I have to actually be able to run for it to work.  And these stupid gym hogs seem to always take over the treadmills first.  It's the gym hog hierarchy:  1) Overtake the treadmills.  2) Breach the ellipticals.  3) Stampede the stair-masters.  4) Mutilate the stretching mats.  5) And finish off by pillaging the weights.

Okay, yes, I realize now that the weather is improving I could go outside and run, but seriously, I'm paying $30 a month for the opportunity to use these facilities.  I'm a tight-wad!  I want to get my money's worth, people!!

So, why don't I qualify as a gym hog, you might ask.
Go ahead, ask it.  Really, I want to hear you call me a gym hog.  Do it.  Do it.

Yeah, I can be scary, I know.

But seriously, I can't be considered a gym hog.  Gym hogs have a very short, 3 day maximum weekly lifespan.  Anyone who goes to the gym on a Friday evening can not possibly be considered a gym hog.  We're more like gym....hamsters.  Cute, cuddly, and spinning in our wheels and trying to work out every day of the week.

One Small Step...HURTS!

Today was my 3rd day of running this week on Week 1 of my Couch to 5K journey.
And all I have to say about it is...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!

It was hard.  Really, really hard to make it all the way through the workout.
To start with, my iPod erased the podcast that I was using during the workout that gave me all the nice verbal cues to either start running or slow to a walk.  I'd gotten used to that guy whispering encouraging catch phrases in my ear, no matter how corny they were.  "You can do it!" was said at least 3 times over the 25 minute workout.

So, I had to use a different podcast that was not as good, but it did the job.  I'm starting to think about making my own weekly mix of music that I actually enjoy though, because some of the stuff they put in there is just crap.  But, the point is not the music (reminding myself here), it's to get up and running.

Okay, so the mix-up with the music was one problem.  But the bigger problem was HOW HARD IT WAS TO JUST DO IT today.

I'm going to use my best whiny voice here:
It was HAAAAARD.  My legs HURRRRRRRRT.  I didn't wanna do it anymore.

And that was only by the third 60 second running interval.  My legs were starting to cramp.  My breathing was really labored, and it felt like I hadn't even bothered to use my inhaler - which I totally had!  It was just really, really hard to get through it this morning.

By the fourth running interval, I was really ready to quit and just hop on the elliptical machine.
Oh sweet elliptical, how I miss you so.  You're really boring, but you never made me hurt so much.

It was really tempting.
BUT......  (yes, I've got a big but here.  Badda bing!)
I persevered.  I kept on keeping on, telling myself, "It's just 4 more runs.  Just three more.  Come on, you can do it, just 2 more and then you're done."
And thankfully, by the last 2 running intervals it was starting to get a little more manageable again, and I was out of danger of quitting the treadmill and heading for the calmer waters of the elliptical, which doesn't actually have anything to do with water...but you get my point.

So, I'm really proud of myself.  I stuck it out.  I endured.
And tomorrow at Weigh-in Saturday at Weight Watchers,
the scale had better show it!

On the Road Again

This weekend I bent the rules of reality.
I worked out on Saturday
AND
Sunday!!

Shocking, I know.

But it doesn't stop there.  Oh no, the amazement continues.
I RAN both days!!

Stop doubting!  I really did it!
I don't blame you for your utter disbelief.  I can hardly believe it myself.
But I did it.

The guy on the treadmill next to mine couldn't seem to believe it either.
I was starting out on my 5 minute warm-up, listening to a Couch to 5K podcast when he showed up on the treadmill next to me.  He gave me the look.  You know what I'm talking about...the I'm-going-to-work-out-next-to-this-fat-chick-so-I-can-look-awesome-and-fit look.

You should have seen his face when I started jogging along right next to him.
I could read his face.  It said, "Dang!  Fat Girl can run!!"

Oh yeah.
Boo-yah.
Look at that blubber fly!
So I can run, bub.  For all of 60 seconds before I needed a 90 second break to take a breather.

But I kept it up, and I ran for 60 seconds eight different times.
And each time I ran, I chanted in my head, "Go fat girl!  Go fat girl!  Go!"

In your face, treadmill boy!

Getting FIT instead of FAT

Do you the difference between FIT and FAT?

Just one little vowel, but a very important one.  The letter "I."
If I don't want to be FAT, then I have to get in the middle of things.
If I don't want to be FAT, then I have to make hard changes in my lifestyle and my mindset.
If I don't want to be FAT, then I have to be willing to do what it takes to be successful, even if it's hard and uncomfortable for a time.


"I"
I have to be in control.
I have to be willing to do what it takes.
I have to be mindful of what I'm doing.

Just one little letter that points to who is really to blame for where I am, or who is really going to get credit for where I end up.

So, little friends, how are your New Year's Resolutions going?  I know you made some.  You know you made some.  Maybe you didn't use the word "resolution" but surely you have some goals, some aspirations and ambitions you would like to accomplish before the end of 2011.  I know at least one of you said to yourself, "This year I'm gonna..."

How's that going for ya?

I hope it's going well.
We're more than 1/12th of the way through the year so far.  Are you 1/12th of the way to reaching your goal?

This year, my New Year's goals were a little less specific than last year's.  Last year I really wanted to lose 100 pounds in a year.  Well, at least until around March, I was wanting to lose 100 pounds.  After that, I seemed to just want to sit around on my butt and whine about why I wasn't losing weight.

This year, I decided to go a little more general, but at the same time, I think I am being a little more realistic, and allowing myself a little more grace to succeed at varying levels.

This year's goals are fourfold:
I want to take steps toward becoming
SPIRITUALLY fit,
PHYSICALLY fit,
EMOTIONALLY fit,
and FINANCIALLY fit.

I'm calling it my SPEFfy fitness goal.  I can be SPEFfy.

To reach these goals, I have laid out some steps.
To become physically fit, I'm continuing with Weight Watchers and exercise.  As long as I actually DO them, I know that I can become physically fit.

To become financially fit, I am currently following the advice of Dave Ramsey, and am enrolled in his course, Financial Peace University.  I didn't really know much about Dave Ramsey and his baby steps for getting out of debt and building wealth until a friend recommended him (Kudos to you, Sonya!).  So far, we're working on baby step #2, the debt snowball, and will hopefully be completely debt free by the end of April, or maybe even March if things go well with our tax refund.

To become more spiritually and emotionally fit, I'm working on my honesty with myself and others, trying to be more of who I really am instead of who I think people want me to be.  I'm also getting back into church.  It's been awhile since I've been going regularly, and I know that's been a large part of why I've been feeling so down for awhile now.

So, I'm getting all SPEFfy.  I'm striving to reach some goals.
I know that "I" can make it happen, and can change my FAT life to a FIT one.

Run For Your Life!

I did something today that I am so stinking proud of.
Well, now that I think about it, I've done several things that I'm so stinking proud of...

I went to Weight Watchers this morning even though I knew my WW buddy would most likely not be there today.
(Hope you're doing okay buddy!  I'll see you next week!)

And, I lost 1.6 lbs this week - the day AFTER my class had its Valentine Party complete with make-your-own sundaes, of which I happily partook.

But the thing I'm really proud of myself today is this:  I RAN.
On the treadmill.
At the gym.
Without falling down.
Or passing out.
Both of which I was fairly certain I was going to do.

Now, this isn't necessarily the first time I've ever run, but it is the first time I've ever done it at the gym IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE.

I'll admit, there was some trepidation at first.
In addition to the aforementioned fears of falling off or passing out, I was certain someone was going to walk by and give me the "what in the world is she doing on there" kind of look.  I also had a deep-seated fear that I was going to actually break the machine and have to pay oodles of dollars for repairs.  Happily, neither of those events took place.

No one looked at me weird.  Or if they did, I was so lost in my own thoughts of "BREATHE!  BREATHE!" that I didn't really pay any attention to the people around me, so it was all good.

And BONUS! the machine did not crumble into chunks of metal and plastic beneath my feet.  Yea!

Just in case I have not expressed it properly, this is a big deal to me.  I am not a runner.  I do not run.  I don't even like to move that quick if I can help it.  But deep down inside of me is a thin girl who wants to be a runner someday, and today I let her have her way a little bit.

So, down the brass tacks of how this all came about, because a 256 lb. person does not just up and decide to run and then go do it.  It just doesn't happen like that.

I've been noticing for a couple of months that my beautiful, black Nike tennis shoes are wearing out a little bit.  My socks peek out of a couple holes in them, which is fine when I'm wearing black socks, but a little conspicuous when I'm not.  So, I need new shoes.  What's the big deal you ask?

Well, I bought those shoes to run in.
And I did run in them.
ONCE.
I went running one time at the park, and it was so hard on me, that I gave up.

So now that I'm facing the fact that I need to replace them, I'm filled with some guilt about never really using them for their intended purpose.

I've heard that running on a treadmill is easier than actually running outdoors, so I thought I'd give it a try.

That was about a month ago.

It takes me awhile to get my courage up, I guess.
Or maybe I can put a positive spin on it and say I don't like to rush into things.  I'd rather check out all the options first before doing something drastic (like exercise).  I make calm and cool, calculated decisions.
Okay, that's all a bunch of crap.  The truth is I was a scared little chicken shit.  I can be honest.

So, for a month I've been tentatively checking out the treadmills.  I'd get on one for awhile before doing my tried-and-true workout on the elliptical.  I might push myself into doing a very fast-paced walk, but never so fast that I was actually jogging or running.  I was just too afraid of what might happen.

Today, I guess the situation was optimal.  I had plenty of time to warm up.  The treadmill I was on was at the end of the row, and partially hidden behind a display, so I didn't have to worry about gawkers as they passed me by.  I got to the gym fairly early so there weren't many people there anyway.  I decided to give it a try.

After a 7 minute warm up (it still took me a few extra minutes to get my nerve up) I decided to crank up the speed and give it a go.

And go I did.

I pushed that baby as far as I could, sweating and sucking wind like there was no tomorrow.  Legs pumping.  Arms flailing.  I was focused and intense.

For all of one minute.

That's right my friends, I pushed it to the limit.

And then I took a two minute walking break and decided to try it again.

For another minute.

And then some more walking, and then some more running.  I kept it up for over 30 minutes.  And I'm really proud of myself.

For those of you who can run and have never been overweight...I'm not sure why you're reading this blog, you must be lost.  But on your way out, keep your judgey thoughts to yourself.  Getting a fat girl to run is nothing short of a miracle.

And now, I believe in miracles.

The Day the Sky Shat

It seems that the heavens opened up over the entire mid-west and took a white dump on us.  And how lucky for us that we get to clean it up.

Fun.

So, for the better part of three hours today (yes, THREE HOURS), I nearly destroyed another snow shovel in an attempt to unearth us from the aftermath of The Blizzard, 2011.  Or more precisely, I attempted to un-snow us from the wintery diarrhea squelched all over our garganuanly-huge driveway from The Blizzard, 2011.  Yeah, I think that's a much nicer visual, don't you?

My body hurts in places that have never hurt before.
And places I sure hope never hurt again.

I can foresee that my chiropractor is going to have a field day with me in the next week.  Again I say...

Fun.

Alas, I shouldn't complain.  I mean, we're all in the same boat.  We're all stuck in 8 degree weather trying to dig ourselves out with a snow shovel.

Except the old biddie next door who has a snow blower.

The same old biddie who became so impatient with my lawn mowing this past fall that she took it upon herself to mow my front lawn.

Twice.

Without so much as a knock on the door to say "Hi, I happen to be mowing, and I couldn't help noticing that your grass is about a quarter inch above the neighborhood-approved height of 2.5 inches, so I thought I'd just take care of that for you while I'm out if you don't mind."  Nope, nothing like that.  One minute I'm walking in the door with a sack of groceries in one arm and a toddler in the other, changing diapers, wiping poop, walking the dog, and making dinner (all at the same time of course because if there's one thing I am, it's Super Mom), and all of the sudden I see a flash of Bermuda shorts and a tank top whizz by my window.

She doesn't stop.

Doesn't knock.

 Doesn't bother making small talk.

She just makes short work of my lawn.  Did I say TWICE?  Oh yeah, I did.

Now, does the same old biddie who happens to own a snow blower get all worked up over my 3 billion feet of driveway being shat upon by the sky?

NO!

Durned old biddie.
Have some consistency will ya!!

Not that I'm bitter or anything.
I'm just sore and achy, but at least I have a clean driveway.

Fun.

I'm Flying Now!!

My very first position in the field of education was over 10 years ago now, just after I graduated from university, when I became an ESL aide for a local high school.

I don't know where I got it, but somehow, I ended up with a bookmark that had 101 Words of Encouragement to say to students.  Some were borderline mundane: Way to go!  Great work!  You can do it!

Others were just wacky:  You're tops!  (What does that even mean?)  You can be trusted!  (Like you couldn't trust me before?) and one of my favorites, You're A-Okay! What kind of goon would actually go around saying that?

But my favorite, my absolute favorite was this one:  YOU'RE FLYING NOW!

It just reeks of geekiness, and therefore, I love it.

My BFF and I would write that to each other back in the day before Social Networking, when we actually sent e-mails to each other.  We still say it though.

Today I decided that I needed to give myself a little praise, and to tell myself that I am, indeed, flying now.

With the exception of Sunday and Monday, I've worked out every day this week.

I've stayed within my Points+ allotment.

I've been drinking water.

I've been rationing out Girl Scout cookies every day, WITHOUT CHEATING.

Today, however, I was a star!

After school we had a big meeting where all the 2nd grade teachers in the district met together.  There is always a plethora of candy - mostly chocolate (And not the crappy kind of chocolate here, there is nothing labeled "Best Choice" or "Sam's Choice" here!  We're talking Reese's, Kit-Kat, Snickers, Hershey's....drooooool......gurgle...gurgle....slurp.  Ack!  My brain is turning into a chocolate-infused zombie!) that is available when we sign in, but also usually scattered and draped ever-so-lovingly over the tables where we sit.  

What's a fat girl to do?

COME PREPARED, THAT'S WHAT!

And prepared I was, my friends!  I wasn't a girl scout for years and years for nothing.

My purse held the contents of a 100 calorie pack of dark cocoa powdered almonds (yummy!!), a banana, and a cheese stick.  And so I didn't feel the least bit of deprivation, I stopped off at Sonic for my favorite beverage:  a Route 44 Diet Vanilla Coke (easy on the ice, of course).  

I was able to sign in without hoarding 2lbs. of candy, and sat sipping my Rt.44DVC-EZice (see Sonic reference above if you're confused about that).  And believe it or not, I was thoroughly contented just eating the cheese stick.  I delved into the rest of my booty after the meeting, but throughout the meeting nary a single piece of chocolate crossed these lips.  Girl Scout Honor.

PLUS!!

PLUS!!

(I had to say it twice, just in case you didn't get the extreme amount of enthusiasm I'm mustering up here.)

Even though I had to be back at school two hours later to watch my students sing in their annual music program, I STILL went to the gym and worked out.  I even planned ahead enough to bring things (including clean didies) so that I could take a shower at the gym.  

I was simply amazing today.

Forget about flying, I'm en fuego!

We Have Clavicle!

This has been an exciting day for me.  I'd love for you to share in my joy.
Here's what's going on, friends.

Last night in the shower, for the first time in a very long time, I felt my clavicle bones peeking out from beneath my skin.  If you're not familiar with the clavicle, it's also called the collar bone.

In my fat girl world, it's also known as a skinny person bone.  Why's that you ask?  Because as your body builds up fat, the clavicle bone disappears underneath all that fatty tissue and you're left with a very solid, unattractive chest and neck.  It's a skinny bone.  It's also a sexy bone.  Take a look at how many times people are either touching their own clavicle bones or other people's clavicle bones in movies.  Once you start to notice it, you'll see it's always a setup to foreplay.  It's true.

But finding my sexy, skinny clavicle bone is only one of three happy happenings that took place recently.

Here's happy happy joy joy exciting event numero dos:
I found my Wii!!
It got lost in our move this last summer, and I finally found it a few days ago, in the garage of all places.  But what is even more exciting is that my Wii Fit game was in the Wii, so now I can work out even more easily from home.  Whee!  I mean, Wii!

And now I can give my sister-in-law back her Wii which I commandeered about 9 months ago and have been holding hostage in my living room.  I'm sure she'll be glad to have her Wii back as well.

Another item which was lost has also been found just today:  my dad found my iTouch!   Several weeks ago I was at my parents house having a card-making session with my mom and aunt.  My dad was babysitting Lily in the living room while we were busily playing in the kitchen.  Sometime during the afternoon Lily found my purse and began exploring.  Everything made it back into my purse except for my iTouch.

(If you still live in the Dark Ages and don't know what that is, well, then, I mock you and feel a little sorry for you.  No, no...I kid, I kid.  It's like the iPhone -minus the phone part-, with lots of neat gadgets that allow me to listen to music, watch movies, play games, surf the Internet, check my email, and more fun techno geek stuff like that.)


Well, my dad and I went through their house several times trying to find my precious iTouch, turning over furniture, crawling on the floor trying to be at "Lily height,"  even looking through the trash.  All to no avail.  **Hee, hee...I used the word "avail."  That makes me giggle.**

Luckily for me, my dad finally found it this evening sitting down in the depth of a decorative crockery jar on the floor.  Hallelujah!!  I was SO excited about this news.  I love, love, LOVE my iTouch, and it's been a hard few weeks without it.  It sure makes working out at the gym so much easier when I zone out, stop paying attention to the loathsome exercise, and veg in front of some TV series episode I've been waiting to see.

It's a happy day.

BUT...THAT'S NOT ALL!!

Oh no, my friends.  There's more!

The best part!!

Are you excited?
Are you sitting on the edge of your seat?
Are you fairly tingling with anticipation?

No?  Me neither really, but it was worth a try.

Today was weigh in Saturday at Weight Watchers, and I'm now at my lowest weight since I moved this summer!  I've been bouncing back and forth over the same 5-6 lbs for over 6 months, and this week's revelation that the only thing standing between me and my success...is me...must have really helped me meet my goal of losing weight this week.

I tracked faithfully everyday.
I was even honest in my tracking.
I ate only within my points (I did go over my daily and weekly points, but I made up for it with a bunch of activity points).
I planned what I was going to eat.
I stuck with it even when it was hard - including a day when I threw a yummy looking brownie away -- and planning for enjoying my Girl Scout cookies in moderation, though they make me want to be anything BUT moderate as I consume them.

So, I'm proud of me.  My hard work paid off this week.  I lost 1.8 lbs. this week, bringing my total back down to 257.2.  A lot higher than I want to be, but only about 8 lbs. left to get to my pre-summer weight.  Then I can start thinking in terms of goals that are new, and have nothing to do with my summer weight gain.

Yea for losing weight!
Yea for finding the lost!
Yea for having hot, sexy, skinny bones start making a comeback!

What Was I Thinking?

Yesterday one of my cute little students held up a plastic sack to me and said, "Here's your Girl Scout cookies you ordered, Mrs. T."

Oh.
Crap.

Those were the first two thoughts in my mind.
I remember ordering them in November, in a moment of weakness.  I wanted cookies then.  And she's one of the sweetest kids I've ever had.  It was hard to say no.

So I didn't.

I said yes.
To two boxes.
Of my very favorite Girl Scout cookies:  Thin Mints and Peanut Butter Bliss.

Why is it, just when you try to get ahold of your life, and really become disciplined, that terrible, evil temptation comes barging in your life in the hands of an 8 year old?  Well, maybe that's not how it happens for you, but it did for me.

So, I did the only thing I could think of at the moment.
I locked them in a closet.
It worked for the duration of the day.  Out of sight, out of mind.  I didn't think on them again until I had to open up the closet at the end of the day to get my coat and purse, and then there they were, staring at me in all their glorious Girl Scoutyness.

Because the sky was pouring down buckets of snow, and my windshield wipers kept freezing up so I could barely see, I did not have the manual dexterity to break into the box of cookies while I was driving, which is exactly what I did last year when I bought Girl Scout cookies.  Thank you crappy weather for helping to save me from temptation.

As soon as I got home, I put them on top of the fridge, still wrapped in the plastic bag, until I could figure out how to consume them without going crazy.

I counted the points for a serving of each delectable type of cookie:  4 points for two of the peanut butter cookies, and 4 points for four thin mints.  Wow, that's 8 points if I want to enjoy both of them.

I had enough points to eat the cookies if I wanted...but I wouldn't be able to eat dinner.

Choices.
Choices.

I chose to eat dinner instead.  And I'm glad I made the responsible, mature, adult choice.
I went to bed feeling satisfied that I didn't give into the temptation, and determined to make a plan for fitting them into the next day's food lineup.

So that's what I did today.  I planned my daily food intake around being able to have 6 cookies.  It was awesome.  When I finally had them today, along with a cup of fat free hot cocoa, they were deliciously exquisite.  I even placed them ever so delicately on one of my best Japanese porcelain plates so they would even look pretty.  I savored every single morsel, and I didn't have to feel a bit guilty because I had counted them and tracked them, and I had enough points to eat them.

Dorian-1, Temptation-0

Hey lady, mooooooove over!!

Do you hear the subtle mooing of cows?
I do.

Something came to me last night.  I know I've probably heard it before.  Heck, I've probably even said it before.  It came to me via the Internet.  Yea technology!  You flippin' rock my world!


Last night I watched some TV with my parents.  It's been years now since I've seen "The Biggest Loser" and I really wanted to watch an episode.  My parents graciously allowed me to commandeer their TV for the better part of 2 hours, and even let me delete a couple of shows they were planning on Tivo-ing, so I could record it and zoom through the commercials.  That's love, my friends, that's love.

I really enjoyed watching "The Biggest Loser," and I'll admit, I was in the TV viewing mood when I got home, so I surfed around and found A&E's new show, "Heavy."  Yea for free TV on the Internet!  You also rock my world!!  If you haven't seen it, the show follows morbidly obese people around as they are given the chance to live in a controlled environment for a month, learn to exercise, and learn how to eat healthier.  At the end of the month, they're sent back home to try to continue their new habits for 5 more months and hopefully, lose weight and become healthier -- these are some BIG people, so they don't get normal in 6 months, but they do get better.

On the episode I was watching last night, one of the individuals was a lady who was constantly coming up with reasons why she couldn't do the program.  The exercise hurt too much, it was too hard, she didn't want to bust her ass...just over and over and over.

And I thought to myself,
"Oh my gosh, that's ME!"

It's weird to see yourself on national television in such a negative light.  But I couldn't refute it.  That girl was saying some of the very same things I've said right here on this blog.  And boy, WAS SHE ANNOYING!

So, I apologize if my constant whining about how hard this all is has annoyed you.  Perhaps you, like me last night, sit and take it all in, not unlike a horribly disfiguring traffic accident.  You're disgusted by what you see, but unable to peel your eyes away.  That's somewhat how I felt last night.

But, at the end, finally, she redeems herself.  She says this one phrase that stuck in my brain like crusty poo  on a baby's ass...

(I just knew you'd appreciate that visual.)


She said, "The only thing keeping me from reaching success...is me."

Well, D'UH!!

That's what I thought at first.
But then I took a moment.
And thought about that statement.
And pondered on it.
Mused on it.
And contemplated it.

And I came to the realization that this one sentence is the simple, definitive truth about weight loss.
I am the only thing holding me back.
There's nothing and no one else that I can blame my lack of success on.
Nothing else is responsible for my failure.
It's not the food.
It's not the ice cream.
It's not the exercise.
It's not my hatred of said exercise.
It's not my schedule.
It's not my husband's crazy hours.
It's not my raging female hormones.
It's not Aunt Flo.
It's not the worst day ever.
It's not the best day ever.
It's not because it's a Friday/the weekend/a birthday/a holiday/Kwanzaa/or Rosh Hashanah.  


it's me

me

What a little word.
What a little thing to cause so many big problems.

But, now I'm left with the question, "So now what do I do?"

Well, I'm not sure.
But, I'm starting out by telling myself to moooove over, and get out of the way of my success.

I am in control of my own destiny.
I am in control of my own success.
If I succeed or if I fail, I have no one to hold accountable for the outcome,  but myself.

Dang it!  I really liked blaming my weight on exercise-based phobia and ice cream addiction!

Keeping the End in Mind

One of the things I have to do as a teacher is get the end, the objective, what I want my students to learn, know and be able to do at the end of the lesson or unit, in my mind before I ever start teaching.

Well, that's what I have to do if I want to be a good teacher.  Sometimes the end goal is just to keep them from driving me crazy, but more often than not the goal is for them to reach some sort of learning objective.

For example, by the end of tomorrow's lesson in Social Studies, my students should be able to name the three western frontier trails that most pioneers used in the 1800's, as well as name reasons why the pioneers used those particular trails.  They will also be able to distinguish the pros and cons of using oxen vs. mules to travel to the west on the frontier trails, and provide logical reasons why they would choose one over the other.

So, knowing that's what I wanted my kids to get out of the lesson by the end of the period, I created a kick ass multimedia lesson integrating different learning styles and techniques in order to reach all my students at their level of learning.  Just so you know, I won't actually use the term "kick ass" during the lesson...that's just for your benefit.  And then later I will have a set of different assessment to test if those students acquired the skills and knowledge that were set forth in my objectives.

I try to consciously and systematically do this for all of my lessons.  So, for five days a week, I do this for math, science, social studies, reading, writing, handwriting, social skills, and spelling.  That's about 40 lessons per week that I am studiously crafting in order to reach the stated objectives.

NOW, IF I CAN DO THAT FOR 23 WHINY, SNOT-NOSED KIDS EVERY WEEK, WHY IN THE WORLD CAN'T I DO THAT FOR MYSELF?


I have the objective in mind, but it's somewhat vague and general:  GET SKINNY.
And I sort of have the lesson plan mapped out:  EAT LESS AND EXERCISE MORE.
But, I think I need to start being more targeted, and set more small goals, with specific steps on how I want to reach my objective.


So, this week the objective is:  HAVE A LOSS.  Last week it was .2 lbs.  The week before it was 2.2.  I'm just happy as long as it's a loss.  That's my goal: lose weight.


So, the hard part is focusing on the steps to get there.  I have only a few days left before Weigh-In Saturday, so I won't have to focus for too long.  I can do this!


Step One:  Track every BLT (bite, lick and taste) that goes into my mouth.  
I'm usually not a person that takes little nibbles of things, but Lily has these organic cheddar bunny crackers that are as good as Cheeze-Its and I LOVE THEM, so I have to be really careful to just not go there.  Mmmmm....cheeze-its.....drrrroooool.


Step Two:  Exercise EVERY day the rest of this week for at least 30 minutes, preferably 45.
I've been doing pretty good with this so far this week.  Saturday I worked out, Sun & Mon I took a break, but I worked out this morning, and I plan on doing it tomorrow, Thursday and Friday as well.  Just gotta keep on keeping on with it, even though I hate it almost as much as I hate throwing up through my nose.  Does that give you a good picture of what I'm feeling here?  Can you feel the depth of my emotion through that analogy?  I hope so, because I think I just really grossed myself out here.


Okay, so I have a goal, and I have some steps to get there.  I know there are other things I should be keeping in mind, like eating more lean meats, fruit & veggies, and drinking more water, blah, blah, blah...but my brain can only take so much, people!  I'll get there, I'll get there.  Baby steps.  We're going back to baby steps.

You can baby step with me, if you like.

Oh, and by the way, can you name the three most-used frontier trails to the West used by the pioneers in the 1800's?  Yes, well, then you may just be smarter than a 2nd grader.  NO?  Well then, consider yourself an average American.

A Good Day

I had a good day today.

It's not like I don't have those often, because I do.  But, today was particularly nice.

I went to church this morning.  It's been almost 5 months since I've been to church.  Part of that was due to laziness, sickness, dueling schedules with my husband and the fact that Sunday is the only day we both have off together, and then there's also been my lack of faith.  I've been so angry with God, frustrated about unanswered prayers, and hurt by the seemingly unending unfairness of life.  So, I let all that goop keep me from going to church.

The pastor called a few months ago.
A couple of ladies from the church left messages on my answering machine.
One lady in the choir sent me a couple cards.
I didn't answer any of them, not the phone calls or the cards.
I didn't know what to say to them, "Hi, thanks for the call...I'm actually not sure if I believe in God anymore, but thanks for thinking of me."

But, I finally came to the understanding that life without God, just really sucks.  So if He's not really there, or if He's not who I've always believed in Him to be, then I'd rather be happily delusional, then unhappily disbelieving.  So I decided to go to church.  It took a few weeks to get my courage up.  I go to a really, really small church.  It's considered a full house if there are more than 20 people there.  I mean TINY.  So it's not like I could slip in the back pew unnoticed.  I was really nervous.  In fact, I was so nervous that my hands were shaking a little as I entered the sanctuary.

But here's what made this all good.
I expected to hear, "So where have you been??"
But all I heard this morning was "I'm so glad you're here!" accompanied by rib-crushing hugs from people in the choir.

In fact, I made an elderly man cry.
Twice.
From joy.
I think.
It was his hug that came dangerously close to shattering my ribcage.

So when I left today, I felt good.
I felt wanted.
And needed.
And loved.
And, I think that's all everyone really wants and needs when you come down to it.  We all just want to be wanted, needed and loved.

So, it was a good day.

I Don't Completely Suck...Yet.

So, even though I've let my blog go to seed and have totally neglected my readers with nary a word as to why, I haven't completely sucked in the weight loss world.

I just have to take a moment to bask in the fact that I used the word, "nary."  Fun words like that make me feel all tingly.  It's an English major thing.  I completely admit how incredibly nerdy I sound right now.  Get over it.  You're just jealous.  Or covetous.  Oh yes, I own a thesaurus, baby, and I know how to use it.


Wow, it's like I have a blogger version of ADHD or something.

So, back to my real reason for the post.  I just wanted to brag quite boisterously humbly announce that I have had some success in the past few months.  I'm still not down to where I was in my weight before the summer began, but I haven't had a gain for about 6 weeks now.

AAAAAAAND....

wait for it!!!!!!!!

And I even LOST WEIGHT over Thanksgiving, Christmas AND New Year's.  That's some sort of record, I'm sure.  So, hence the reason that I don't completely suck.  I'm doing a few things right.

And I do mean A FEW.

I'm trying to do better, I really am, but I'm still struggling to faithfully write down and track everything that I eat.  It basically comes down to this:  I'm lazy and I just don't wanna!  I realize though, that in order to be successful, I'm going to have to get over my whiny-ass self.  I know it's coming, I'm just putting it off for as long as I can.

What I am doing right is trying to follow the new Weight Watchers Points Plus plan.  If you haven't heard already about the new plan, let me give you three words:
FAN-FREAKING-TABULOUS!!!

I love, love, LOVE the new plan, and if you know what's good for you, you will too!
Here's the skinny peeps!!

Okay, so WW still uses a points-based system, but instead of using calories/fat/fiber to calculate the points value of a food, WW now uses fat/fiber/carbs/protein to calculate the Points+ value of foods.  I really like this because it finally registers that not all calories are created equal.  100 calories of apple is NOT the same as a 100 calorie Oreo snack pack.  They don't fill you up the same, they don't burn off the same, they're just different.  Does this make sense to you, because it really, really registers with me.  Plus, it means that you're essentially *rewarded* with extra points by making healthier choices.

Let's go back to the apple vs. Oreo example.  On the old plan, the apple might have been 1 point, while the Oreo snack pack was only 2.  So, what would any fat girl choose?  The Oreo, of course!  But now that more nutritional information is being used to define the Points+ value of a food, on the new plan the apple is 0 Points+, and the Oreo might be 4 Points+.  So, not only do I get to eat the apple for 0 Points+, but I get to save the points that I would have used on the old plan to eat the apple, to eat something else.  I know I've lost a few of you by now.  I can see that glazed over, deer in the headlights look.  I think it was the moment that I mentioned Oreos.

For the rest of you that are still paying attention, there is one more SUPER AWESOME part of Points Plus program:  ALL fruit is now worth 0 points if it is fresh, frozen, or packaged in fruit juice and drained.  So all those bananas that used to be worth 2-3 points (usually 3 for me, because I like my bananas big....hmmmm....I feel a little naughty now) they are all now ZERO POINTS!!!  Would you like an orange?  A mango?  Some papaya?  Pineapple?  Kiwi?  Kumquat?  Starfruit?  Persimmon?  All thrown together in a fruit salad?  Why go ahead because they are ZERO POINTS my friends!!!

This has truly REVOLUTIONIZED the way that I eat.
Especially at a buffet.

You know I like the buffet.  All fat people do.  You can test this out for yourself, of course.  Do a little street survey.  Stop random obese people on the street and ask them their opinion on buffets.  100% will give them the thumbs up.  That's because we fat people, we likes to eat!!

Again with the blogger ADHD!  Where's the blogspot form of Ritalin when you need it??


So now at the awesome sushi/Chinese/Mongolian buffet place that we drive 40 minutes to get to every few weeks, I have a ROCK AWESOME plan for staying in control and so far it has worked like a charm!!  Before I eat one bite of anything with rice, dumplings, or moo goo whatever, I have to eat a plate full of fruit.  It's not like I have to twist my arm to eat fruit, though, cause I love it.  And I know that not all the fruit that is available is in fruit juice.  I can spot heavy syrup pretty easily...it's so glossy and pretty...so I can stay away from that.  I just pile up the good stuff on my plate and chow down on fruit before I allow myself anything else.

By the time I'm done with the fruit, I'm not usually all that hungry anymore.  So, I get a bowl of soup, and a plate of my absolute favorite foods that I really want to eat, and after a trip to the dessert bar to get some coffee-flavored gelatin cake (you know the humongous sheet cake thing, cut into one inch by one inch squares? I love that cake!), I'm good and done.  And the best part is that I only have to count the Points+ from the food I ate after the fruit, which is not usually all that bad.

So, my review of the plan so far is to give it two thumbs way up!  If you were thinking of giving WW a try, this is the best plan I've seen yet, and by far the most livable, so get your booty on down to sign up while there's still free registration y'all!

This is not a paid endorsement of Weight Watchers or the Points Plus program.  If, however, Weight Watchers would like to pay me for endorsing them, I would only be too happy to take their money.

Spring Cleaning

What is that thing under all that dust?
Phsssssew!  Cough!  Cough!  Ah-choo!
Oh, I know what that is!!  It's my abandoned blog!!

Wow, I remember when this thing was really hot.  I used to write on it every day, sometimes even twice a day.  Everything I saw around me seemed to give me new inspiration for a fun and pithy blog entry.
Hmm....I wonder what happened?

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tock
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I'm still wondering.  Give me a minute.

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OH I KNOW!!!  I got sidetracked and couldn't get up off my lazy a** long enough to write anything of any importance.  That's what happened.

Well, what to do now?
It's a three day weekend (Thank you, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. for being born so that I could have a day off of work....oh, and thanks for fighting for civil rights, too.  You rock!) and I'm becoming an insane neat freak in the cleaning/straightening/organizing type of mood, so it's Spring Cleaning, at least cleaning up my stuff.  So, what do I do with you, Mr. Blog?  Do I keep you around?  Clean you off?  Buff you into a shiny new polish of amusing witticisms and carefully crafted complaints about the lifestyle of losing weight?  Or do I just chuck you in the trash and feed you to the empty wasteland of abandoned blogs on the internet?

Hmmmm.....

I guess I am sorta granola - go Earth, you're the best planet ever! - and I do believe in the reuse, repair, recycle thing, so I'm gonna go ahead and clean you off, Mr. Blog, and see what I can do with you.

Who knows?  Maybe I'll actually have something interesting to say someday.