Exercise sucks!
I hate it. I mean, I really, really loathe every single minute of it. The sweat. The achyness. The afore-blogged flatulence. None of it is any fun.
Yesterday, I thought my loathing of all things exercise related was finally calming down a bit, become more a general disdain than an all-out hate. I was able to keep my intensity level up for 20 minutes on the elliptical, even when the resistance started to get really hard. For a few blissful, endorphin-laced moments I thought, "Hey, this might not be so bad afterall."
Lies!
It is that bad.
Here's my trip to the gym today:
-Leg cramp in thigh and calf before I even get anywhere near the gym.
-Angry preschooler doesn't want to go to gym's Kid's Club today. Screams, clamps onto my body, and provides everyone with a great demonstration on how to throw a truly successful tantrum.
--Said preschooler is left in the Kids Club anyway.
--Trouble finding a gym locker that isn't already being used. Somewhat amazed and astonished by all the trusting people that throw their purses and other belongings in a locker without a lock. (However, I am now $50 richer! No, no! I kid! I kid!)
--One elliptical left open next to anorexic-looking girl and big, buff muscle-builder guy. Big sigh....
--Big screen TV's showing nothing but basketball, political coverage, and a 'reality show' on MTV. Seriously, who let these people have the remote?!
--Four minutes into my workout...Boy, this seems a little tougher than yesterday when I was just breezing through the workout.
--Five minutes into the workout...Wow, this is A LOT harder than yesterday. How many minutes has it been? What? Five? Five?? You got to be *#@($ing kidding me.
--Eight minutes into the workout...No, I don't want to listen to "Baby Got Back." Who put this on my I-Pod anyway?
--Twelve minutes into my workout....Halfway there!! Almost halfway there!
--Thirteen minutes into my workout....Dangit, I thought I was almost halfway there!
--Fifteen minutes into my workout...Geez, finally!
--Sixteen minutes into my workout...Why am I doing this again?
--Eighteen minutes into my workout...No, seriously, WHY am I doing this again??
--Twenty-one minutes into my workout...Breathing must be optional here.
--Twenty-four minutes into my workout...Staying vertical should be optional too...maybe I can kinda lay on the arm rests a bit, and OOPS! No, I guess I can't.
--Twenty-seven minutes into my workout...Only 3 minutes left, cummon' give it all you got!!
--Twenty-seven minutes and 19 seconds into my workout...Okay, that's all I got.
--Twenty-eight minutes into my workout....Ignore pain in buttocks. Ignore pain in buttocks. Ignore pain...
--Twenty-nine minutes into my workout...ACK! This hurts! Oh the pain, the pain!
--Thirty-minutes into my workout...Heart rate 150...I wonder if that's good or not. Oh look at the pretty red blinking lights on the monitor.
--Thirty-one minutes into my workout....Oh cool down, how I have longed to see you.
--Thirty-two minutes into my workout...Yes!! Done!! Where's my gold star??
--One minute after my workout...Sweaty. Stinky. Gross. But I did it!!!
--Two minutes after my workout...Maybe I could stop for some ice cream. DOH!!!
2 comments:
Awesome job lady. It will get easier, I promise...Then, you will need to change the workout and increase the, uh nevermind, it'll get better. Just remember, it takes 27 days to form a habit and habits are easy. One day you may even decide that you like your workout. (I know, don't push it.)
I'm proud of you for tackling this.
You're awesome! I loathe the elliptical. Give me an hour on the bike or treadmill but 5 minutes on that cursed machine and everything aches. And 150 is the perfect heart rate for our age and a cardio workout.
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