Awkward Silence

You know how when you're with friends, and you're all talking and laughing and having a great time.  Then there's that moment when you're all talked out and the laughing dies down, and you're not really sure what to say next, and neither is anyone else, and there's this big silence that fills the room and you can't help but realize how everyone's run out of things to say and it's becoming somewhat awkward?

Well, that's totally not what's happening here.

So don't worry.

Life has been happening, and that's a completely different get together with friends. 

Actually, I had to go back to work this week.  Durned tax payers demanding their kids get edu-ma-cated now that the temperature is only 10 below freezing.  And since I went back to work I haven't really had time or energy to post on the blog for the past couple of days.  But, I'm back, I'm back, and ready to muse on the past day's eating and excercise (and the lack thereof....not the eating, there's been plenty of that, but the exercise).

So here's what I'm thinking tonight....

D*mn girl scout cookies are too d*mned yummy, and I'm pissed about it.  (And I'm slightly amused at my use of asterisk...like I'm a teenager or something worried about getting in trouble for cussing in front of my mom.  Hi, mom!)

I bought a box of thin mints from one of my students from last year.  I felt sorry for her trying to peddle her wares in this depressed economy.  I felt I should show my support for her attempts to socialize in an acceptable manner.  I felt....okay, the truth is I wanted the damned cookies.  So I bought them.  And they arrived today.

$3.50 for 32 chocolaty minty wafers of sin.  That's about 12 cents per sin-filled mouthful.  And it was a sin, not because thin mints are sinful in and of themselves, but because they lead to much gluttony, much, much gluttony.

Okay, now truth be told, gluttony today was not nearly as bad as gluttony 6 months ago.  Partly because I stripped the house of nearly everything containing sugar a few days after Christmas.  Koichi was under strict orders to hide all the chocolate, and he did a pretty good job.  I know.  I looked for 20 minutes for chocolate, and I still haven't found any. 

But back to the thin mints, which are now gone.  I NEARLY ATE AN ENTIRE BOX OF GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!  Look at me being honest.  I didn't get through the entire box.  I got disgusted with myself while I was chowing down on them on the way home tonight, and threw the rest in the trash.  Okay, so I wasn't so much disgusted with myself as I was sick of the taste of chocolate mint, but there was some disgust mixed in there. 

The problem with doing something like this is that I tend to keep going off the deep end.  I can't just say, "Wow, I screwed up, I should stop this foolishness and eat extra-healthy the rest of the night and get back on plan tomorrow."  Oh no.  What I say is, "Well crap.  There goes the evening.  Might as well pig out the rest of the night cause I'm all screwed up now," and then I eat crap the rest of the night.

But, like I said before, it could have been worse.  My binge was composed of a trip to Taco Bell where I got a chipotle steak taco salad and a chicken taquito.  Then later in my quest for all things chocolate and hidden I found some whole nuts in the shell from Christmas in my stocking and I ate about 6 of them before I got sick of the taste of raw walnuts, almonds and hazelnuts.  That was pretty much it.  It could have been a whole lot worse.  In fact, looking back on it now, I wouldn't even qualify as a binge eater.  Bulimics would be embarrassed to be seen with me in that binge.

So here's to better choices tomorrow and no more damned Girl Scout cookies.