The L-Word

So, I'm not sure what "The L-Word" means to you.  You can decide that for yourself.

For me, the L-Word is LAZY.

I've been struggling with LAZY my whole life.
And even now, when I'm probably more active than I've ever been my entire life, I still struggle with laziness.

I have been thinking about some of the underlying reasons for my addiction to food.
I know that I'm an emotional eater.  I eat when I'm angry, frustrated, depressed, happy, and bored.
I also know that I use food as a reward.  If I feel I've been deprived of something, or have sacrificed something, I'll turn to food.

But recently, I've been thinking that maybe, most of the time, it's that I'm just lazy.
It's too much work to count calories or WW points.
It takes too much time to cut up veggies to have on hand for snacks.
It's too hard to make healthy meals for myself.
I'm so hungry, I need to eat something now, and I don't have time to wait until I get home to make something healthy, so I'll just drive thru and get some fat-laden crap of convenience.

All of these excuses are ones that I've used over and over, but they all point to how incredibly lazy I am.

I don't want to be lazy though.

I want to be the opposite of lazy.
Un-lazy?
What exactly is the opposite of lazy?

I can come up with some antonyms of lazy on my own, like "hard-working," but I decided to whip out my thesaurus.  (And by whip out I mean, copy, right click, and pull up my electronic thesaurus and dictionary.  I *heart* technology!)

So, these are some antonyms of "lazy," according to my iMac's thesaurus:
diligent
assiduous (I like how that sounds!)
sedulous (I had to look that one up, I'll admit it.)
persevering
indefatigable (Reminds me of watching Horatio Hornblower with my brother and sister-in-law.  Completely worth it due to the copious amounts of eye candy.  Thank you Ioan Gruffudd for being so stinking hot.)
vigorous
determined
zealous

I want to be those things.  Who wouldn't want to be persevering, zealous, or even sedulous?  Not that I expect anyone to say, "Wow.  If anyone I know is sedulous, it's gotta be Dorian."  It would be nice, but I don't expect it.

So, my goal it to be less lazy, and more sedulous.

I don't know that I can get enough of that word!

I know I'm not going to look back on my life and think:
If only I ate more crap!  
But, I could end up thinking, If only I ate less and exercised a little bit more.


Just like I won't look back and think:
I wish I had read more books!
But I might think, If only I had finished writing that book and got it published.


And also I won't be thinking:
Gee, I wish I posted more status updates about my kids on Facebook.
Though if I'm not careful I might think, If only I'd spent more time playing/reading/exercising with my kids, rather than being on the Internet.


I don't want to look back at my life and have any more regrets than I already have right now, and I have plenty.  I seem to have this idea that I'm going to live to be 100, and have all the time in the world to get  all the things done that I want to accomplish, but the truth of that matter is that I have less time than I think, so I better just get to it.  I need to start becoming the person I want to be, and become that person starting right now.

So, the person I want to be is zealous about being healthy.
She is diligent in spending quality time with her children, rather than giving her quality time to a computer.
She is determined to write - and publish! - a novel, or two, or ten.
She is indefatigable, assiduous, and yes, even sedulous, when it comes to living her life to the fullest.

So no more lazy excuses about how I became the way that I am.
Instead, I am going to do what I need to do, to become the person I have always wanted to be.