Okay, I'm going to warn you upfront that this post will probably be a little racy.
I'm intending it to be anyway.
So Mom, and anyone else who is already squirming, you may want to just skip this blog post. I'm not kidding. If you want to continue thinking of me as a sweet, innocent, good little girl, then this blog post is not for you!
Consider yourself warned.
Okay, if you're going to keep reading this, and you get all...twitterpated and stuff....then, you've nobody to blame but yourself.
I'm just going to start by saying that when you're married to someone who works nights, and you see your spouse all of 9 minutes a day most days of the week, there isn't a lot of opportunity for...nookie.
So sometimes, when the nookie is few and far between, you have to look to other avenues of pleasure.
Of course, you all know what I'm thinking about, don't you....
yes, that one thing that makes makes my skin tingle
my pulse race
my breathing accelerate
and sends shivers down my spine...
chocolate.
Whoa! What are YOU thinking about?? That is so NOT where I was going. You have such a dirty mind.
I have some chocolate in classroom (a dangerous thing, I know) that I used with my students the other day to teach them about geometry, in particular squares, rectangles, and quadrilaterals. What, you don't see how chocolate relates to geometry? It's simple... Squares are a special kind of rectangle (did you know that squares are technically rectangles? Learn something new every day!), and rectangles are special types of quadrilaterals. Just like chocolate is a special kind of candy, and candy is a special kind of food. It made sense to me, and made sense to my 2nd graders, so there.
So anyway, I have some chocolate left over, and today I saved enough points to eat some of it.
And while I was eating it, I was also reminded of a challenge my good friend, Heather, gave me awhile ago.
Heather and I started our own writing guild. It's very exclusive. So far we're the only 2 members. Very hoidy-toidy you can no doubt imagine.
We were kidding around about a writing assignment to give ourselves. We jokingly decided to write a sex scene for a romance novel, using as many euphemisms as we possibly could for male and female genitalia. Personally, I just wanted to use the phrase "quivering member" in a sentence, and try to read it with a straight face.
Well, suffice it say, neither Heather nor I actually committed to writing the naughty nookie scene.
Until today.
However, I've decided to change the mission from steamy sex scene to titillating chocolate consumption. Because, sometimes, just sometimes, when it's difficult to be intimate with your spouse, being intimate with chocolate is almost as good. Almost.
So, without further adieu...
Heather, game on!
The girl ever so delicately slipped her fingers inside the silver decorated wrapper.
The arousing aroma of cocoa wafted gently through the air, caressing her skin, causing her mouth to moisten and her lips to tremble.
Desire burned deep within her, bubbling up and over her flimsy inhibitions.
She wanted it.
Craved it.
Needed it inside her.
With reckless abandon she stripped the chocolate bare, tearing the bar free from the constriction of the paper surrounding it.
It lay helplessly in her hands. Vulnerable. Bare. Naked.
Slowly, carefully, she brought it up to her mouth. With quivering lips she placed it on her wet tongue and closed her eyes in an explosion of ecstasy. Creamy, choco-flavored exquisiteness melted inside her mouth. The luxurious sweetness dripped down her throat as she savored every moment of her illicit consumption. As the lingering pleasure of the moment began to tenderly wane, the girl's breath began to return to normal...that is, until she reached her hand into the bag for another.
What do you think?
Not too shabby?
Eat your heart out, Danielle Steel.
Alright, I'm going to go take a cold shower now.
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