101

Woo hoo!  This is my 101st post.
I can't believe I actually had that much to write about.
I wonder what percentage of my posts are mostly about poop.
Probably close to 50%, I'd say.
Lucky you.

And even better, my 100th post was completely inappropriate and sexualized.
Awesome.
I can't help but wonder who read the disclaimer at the beginning and skipped over reading it.
But even more, I can't help but wonder who read it and was too chicken to leave any feedback.
You know who you are, chicken man.

So, during this journey, I've realized two important things about myself.
One:  I am the QUEEN OF EXCUSES.
I can justify just about anything to myself.
Eating crappy,
not exercising,
not tracking,
not caring.

Here are a few of my favorites that I've pulled out of my butt the last few weeks:
I don't have enough time...
I'm too tired...
I'm a single mom and I can't make time for myself...(FYI, I'm not really a single mom, but I take care of Lily single-handedly 95% of the time, so it feels an awful lot like I'm single - but like I said, it's an excuse)
My workout buddy can't go, so I don't want to go...
I have too much work to do...
I have to grade papers/create lesson plans/make seating charts/do inane teacherly duties...
Tech boy is working on my computer and he smells too good, I'm powerless against it (if you read my blog 2 posts ago, this might make sense to you)...
I'm angry...
I'm hungry...
I'm depressed...
I'm PMSing...
I'm post-PMSing...
I'm pre-PMSing...
I'm thinking about PMSing...
I'm bloated...
I'm sick...
I'm cranky...
I want chocolate...
I want ice cream...
I want chocolate in my ice cream...


I could go on and on.
The fact is, I have an excuse for every day of not doing what it takes to succeed with losing weight.  They might seem justified at the time, but when I look back at them, I can see how trivial they are.


The second thing I'm starting to realize about myself, is how incredibly shallow I am.
I used to consider myself pretty deep, but I'm not so sure about that.  Maybe I was just fooling myself.
Because I have come to the conclusion that in regard to my reasons for wanting to lose weight such as:
be healthy
have a strong, healthy heart,
be a good example to my daughter,
be the woman God intends for me to be,
reach my fullest potential,
when all of it is said and done, the truth is,
I just want to look hot.


I can't believe I'm admitting this to you,
but I trust you'll be gentle with me and won't get all judgey-judgey.

It's true.
I want to look smokin' hot in a tight pair of jeans.
I want killer curves and a butt that won't quit.
I want men to want me, and women to want to be me (thank you Austin Powers for that quote).

It's shallow.
But it's true.
But hey, if it eventually works, then what the hey.