Gluttony Comes With a Sneeze Guard

Although there are many temptations which can easily derail me, there is none quite as effective as the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.

It is kryptonite to my superman strength of willpower.
Well, that may be overstating my willpower.
It's more like a catnap attack on a Saturday afternoon.  I can try and try to resist its urge, but eventually, I will succumb to its siren call.

I know there are others out there who have the ability to go to a buffet and leave with their pants securely fastened and their dignity in check.
I am not one of those persons.
Actually, I've never met any of those said persons.
Perhaps they're mythical.
Maybe they're elves.  Elves are skinny, at least Middle Earth a-la Tolkien elves are.
I can't see an elf going to buffet, though.

Can you imagine Legolas heaping up a plate of beef and broccoli, lo mein noodles, and General Tso's Chicken?  And then, trying to get an egg roll and crab rangoon to sit on top and not topple over while he fills a soup bowl full of that jelly-like, unnaturally red, sweet-and-sour sauce?  I bet Legolas wouldn't even flinch.  He'd be able to hold his plate, the soup bowl of sauce, AND a bowl of actual soup - probably egg drop with a bunch of those fried crunchy things thrown in, as well. And he'd use chopsticks.  Correctly.

I digress.

I always seem to come up with some sort of excuse as to why I need to treat a visit to the buffet like my very last meal on earth.

If it's a pricy buffet, well, then I'm going to eat as much as I can so I can "get my money's worth."

If it's a cheap buffet, then, I'm going to eat as much as I can so I can "make the most of it."

And if it's priced somewhere in the middle, well then I'm going to eat as much as I can because "look at all the choices!" or "It's only once in awhile!" or my personal favorite, "I don't eat like this all the time!"

Thank goodness I don't eat at buffets very often.  I'm already running out of pants that fit.

It's a shame though, that I can't seem to control myself.  Anyone with kids can recognize the allure of a buffet for appeasing all the picky eaters in the family.  Plus there's the added benefit of time convenience.  The one-year-old won't likely wait at a "sit-down" restaurant for 20 minutes for us to be seated, plus another 10 to order our food, and another 20 minutes to wait for it to be brought to our table.  But, she'll happily walk through a line in the buffet and wait patiently at the table for 2 minutes while mommy goes and fills her plate with slightly gelatinous fare that's been congealing under warmer lights for far too long.

The other day I was feeling so proud of myself.  I'd eaten more than my daily Points Plus value, but I had tracked everything, and I had extra Weekly Points to spend as well.  I was doing good.  I'd even tracked a double cheeseburger and fries, which normally I wouldn't even bother writing down.

The next day, however, found us in the land of All-You-Can-Eat pizza bliss at Pizza Ranch.  After a day of fun at the pumpkin patch, we were tired, hungry, and very grouchy.  And that was just me!  The kids were even more so.  Pizza Ranch to the rescue!  Or, not so much.

It's never good when you have unbutton your pants on the ride home from a restaurant.  Nope, never good, indeed.  I bet Legolas never has to unbutton his pants after eating at buffet.