Oink! Oink!

Do you hear that sound?

Oink!  Oink!

No, it's not me.  Dork.
It's the sound of the all-too-ubiquitous gym hog.

Gym hogs are running rampant around 24 Hour Fitness.  No doubt other gyms are also infested with their presence.

Luckily, the gym hog seems to have a three day lifespan:  Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  By Thursday afternoons, very few gym hogs can be spotted hogging the treadmills, ellipticals, and weight machines.

However, taking three days a week out of my exercise routine because of gym hogs is getting a little annoying.  I try really hard to beat the stampede hog-pede that envelopes the gym by 4:30 in the afternoon, but they nearly always are already there, hogging around.

It's really frustrating.  I was all gung-ho to do this Couch to 5K thing, but I have to actually be able to run for it to work.  And these stupid gym hogs seem to always take over the treadmills first.  It's the gym hog hierarchy:  1) Overtake the treadmills.  2) Breach the ellipticals.  3) Stampede the stair-masters.  4) Mutilate the stretching mats.  5) And finish off by pillaging the weights.

Okay, yes, I realize now that the weather is improving I could go outside and run, but seriously, I'm paying $30 a month for the opportunity to use these facilities.  I'm a tight-wad!  I want to get my money's worth, people!!

So, why don't I qualify as a gym hog, you might ask.
Go ahead, ask it.  Really, I want to hear you call me a gym hog.  Do it.  Do it.

Yeah, I can be scary, I know.

But seriously, I can't be considered a gym hog.  Gym hogs have a very short, 3 day maximum weekly lifespan.  Anyone who goes to the gym on a Friday evening can not possibly be considered a gym hog.  We're more like gym....hamsters.  Cute, cuddly, and spinning in our wheels and trying to work out every day of the week.