Two Steps Forward, Twelve Steps Back

Did you think you had seen the last of me?

Well.....YOU DIDN'T!

I'm back.
I may not be "all here" in terms of being all gung ho about losing weight, exercising, and eating right...but for right now, this moment in time, I'm right here.

I haven't blogged in over a month.
Wow.
I suck.

I can admit to suckage.

I've thought about blogging every single day, though.
It's funny.
I know in my heart, and even in my head, that I have better chances of sticking to the program if I will just commit to being honest and blogging.

Almost every day something has struck me and I'd think to myself, "That would be a good post for my blog!" but for some reason I haven't been here to share.

I'm sorry.
I apologize.
Especially to those who were looking to me for motivation.
I know it's inspiring to know someone who is successfully doing (or has successfully done) what you want to do.
I'm sorry if I haven't been that girl for awhile now.

So, let's be honest.
I've fallen down.
Pretty hard.
And I'm just finally starting to shake the dust off my knees and get back on my feet.

Here's the honest-to-goodness truth:
I've gained back 12 pounds.
In three weeks.
Landing me back up at 266.4 pounds.

Most of it was due to the move.
We moved out of our old rental house into a new rental house, and for two weeks we ate out for almost every meal.
And when we finally got all of the food moved back into our new house, I was so used to eating whatever piece of batter-dipped, french fried crap I wanted, that I couldn't get back on track for over a week.

I'm still struggling.

This last week was a little better.
I finally journaled a couple of days.
I even went to the gym once or twice.
And thank goodness, that I lost 2 pounds this week.

So, now I'm at 264.4 pounds.
Closer to 300 than 200 right now.
And that sucks.
But I've nobody to blame but myself.

But, I'm not going to wallow in blame right now, or guilt.
I'm just going to say,
"Well, that does suck.  But I can either keep sliding backwards, or I can start to move forwards.  What's it gonna be?"

I'm making the conscious decision to start moving forwards again.

I realize that losing 100 pounds before the end of the year is now impossible.
And that's a shame.

AW, SCREW IT!
I'm  not going to beat myself up for the mistakes I've made.
So what if I don't reach my big goal in my given time frame?!
All I have to do is just reach it.

Confucius say, "The biggest journeys all start with a single step."

Yoda say, "Try?  Try?  There is no try.  There is only do, or not do."

But the best is what my Lord, Jesus, says, "In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

So, I'm going to put one foot in front of the other.
Stop trying, and start doing.
And trust God to be with me every step of the way.