Alright, where is that stinkin' leprechaun who stole my good intentions and misplaced my motivation? I know he's around here somewhere, the little bugger!!
Well, this week is not going quite according to plan (I blame the leprechaun), but some good things are still happening. I haven't been tracking everyday, all day, like I intended. BUT, I am sticking to my meals that I planned out for the week, and I'm keeping mental track of my points, so that's positive.
I still am not drinking water quite as much as I should, BUT, I have found my 2-quart pitcher and some only semi-crusty old Crystal Lite packets in the back of the cabinet. Fruit punch with floaters...since it doesn't all quite dissolve when it's crunchy like that.
And, lastly, I have only exercised once during spring break, instead of the 2-3 times I intended to so far. Oh well. Life happens. We deal. We move on.
And even though I wasn't able to do all that I wanted, something good still has come out of it.
I'VE LOST 20.4 POUNDS THIS YEAR!!!
That's right! You heard it here first, though you can be expecting to see it headlined on Fox News tonight. I can just see it now..."This groundbreaking news just in. Local woman has just informed us that despite insurmountable odds and an official 'dip day' at work this week, she has somehow managed to find the perseverance and strength to lose a total of 20 point 4 pounds since the beginning of the year. Amazing. Simply amazing. How's that weather looking, Stan?"
I did an early weigh-in at Weight Watchers this week because Saturday is my birthday, and I just may not be able to make it to WW that day. Today was the only other day I could go, so I just up and went. I'm glad I did.
I have to be honest, though. I wasn't sure it would happen. I have this bad habit of sounding all confident and cocky, but in reality, I don't feel capable of success at all. I mean, after all, I've joined WW more times than I can count, and until now I've done nothing but fail at losing weight. I have this internal little demon saying "so how is THIS time going to be any different?". Stupid little demon.
Every year I have had a weight loss goal to lose 20 pounds by my birthday. This is the only year that I've ever reached my goal. I feel pretty proud of that, but I didn't say this goal out loud to anybody until I reached it today. I was worried that if I said it out loud and didn't reach it, I'd have to admit defeat to a bunch of other people. That would suck. But, I think, more than that, maybe deeper down that that, I just didn't want to be accountable to anyone for attempting to reach that goal. Part of me still wants to run and hide and try to do this all on my own, so that when I fail I won't have anyone to disappoint except myself. And in my brain, that little demon is pointing out all my past mistakes over the years and saying "You haven't really changed. You're just going to fail like all the other times before."
I think it's time for me to tell that little demon to shut the $#@%! up and get out of my head.
Begone demon of doubt! I cast you out!
I am successful.
This time IS different, because I AM different!
I can do this!
I am worth the effort!
I have the ability!
I know what to do, and more importantly, I AM DOING IT!
So find somebody else to listen to your deceit, because I am through allowing you to define me!
Yeah, I'm kicking that demon's ass.
And now I'm taking names.
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