Guilty As Charged

Today's post is less with the funny, and more with the cold, hard truth. Fair warning.

It's not too hard to ignore what I've done to myself with my weight. If I work hard at it, I can ignore my thighs rubbing together, or how difficult it is to push myself up off the couch, and how uncomfortable my feet are after swelling up to twice their normal size after sitting for a few hours. I can push that stuff aside for the most part, and ignore what I've done to myself, and what future lies ahead for me if I continue living a life of gluttony.

One thing I can not ignore, though, is what I've done to my children, and the guilt that it invokes.

Last week, I took the munchkins to the doctor, and was told that my oldest's BMI was too high. The doctor recommended having her talk to the nutritionist. We made an appointment for today and my husband took the day off so that he could attend the meeting as well.

I've been dreading this meeting all week long.
See, I know who is to blame for my daughter's weight gain.
It's me.
I can't place the blame on the shoulders of a seven-year-old, nor can I place it on anyone else. I'm the one responsible for what she eats, even when she's not with me and is spending the day with family or at the babysitter's. It's ultimately up to me what goes into her mouth 95% of the time.

I've been wrestling with that guilt all week long.

I know what it's like to be a fat kid.
I don't want that for my own daughters.
I don't want to start them out battling their weight.
I want to give them healthy starts, at a normal weight.

And so, I feel the guilt. But, I'm happy to shoulder it. If it will help me to change my habits, so that I can change the habits that have gotten us to this point, then I say Pile on the guilt!

We've already made some changes around out house. We eat very clean inside our house: lots of fruit and veggies, whole grains, lean meats, very little sweets - but it's when we're not home that has been hard for us to control. Eating out, trips to the gas station to get a drink for mom and a slushie for her, family events where the only vegetable is potato salad - these are the things we're going to be more careful of and change.

Fast food is being cut to as little as possible.
Taking a sack lunch when being babysat at someone else's house.
No more than 1/2 cup of 100% juice in a day.
No more side trips to get a drink, even if Mommy is really thirsty.
Bringing veggies, fruit, or a healthy dessert to family get-togethers...even if it wasn't requested.

These are some changes we're going to make in our house. Or rather, when we're not in our house.

Even my parents are on board. I talked with them about checking the nutritional label with her, when she's reaching for a snack and being careful to dole out only one serving. They're all for it, and for not stopping by and picking up a Happy Meal. They're even willing to stop bringing chips to family get-togethers, so she won't have to face that temptation.

I was so proud of them, and how incredibly supportive they're being.

So, I think the guilt is good. I'm not wallowing in it, but I'm going to allow it be the catalyst for some changes. Beginning with me.