The Day the Sky Shat

It seems that the heavens opened up over the entire mid-west and took a white dump on us.  And how lucky for us that we get to clean it up.

Fun.

So, for the better part of three hours today (yes, THREE HOURS), I nearly destroyed another snow shovel in an attempt to unearth us from the aftermath of The Blizzard, 2011.  Or more precisely, I attempted to un-snow us from the wintery diarrhea squelched all over our garganuanly-huge driveway from The Blizzard, 2011.  Yeah, I think that's a much nicer visual, don't you?

My body hurts in places that have never hurt before.
And places I sure hope never hurt again.

I can foresee that my chiropractor is going to have a field day with me in the next week.  Again I say...

Fun.

Alas, I shouldn't complain.  I mean, we're all in the same boat.  We're all stuck in 8 degree weather trying to dig ourselves out with a snow shovel.

Except the old biddie next door who has a snow blower.

The same old biddie who became so impatient with my lawn mowing this past fall that she took it upon herself to mow my front lawn.

Twice.

Without so much as a knock on the door to say "Hi, I happen to be mowing, and I couldn't help noticing that your grass is about a quarter inch above the neighborhood-approved height of 2.5 inches, so I thought I'd just take care of that for you while I'm out if you don't mind."  Nope, nothing like that.  One minute I'm walking in the door with a sack of groceries in one arm and a toddler in the other, changing diapers, wiping poop, walking the dog, and making dinner (all at the same time of course because if there's one thing I am, it's Super Mom), and all of the sudden I see a flash of Bermuda shorts and a tank top whizz by my window.

She doesn't stop.

Doesn't knock.

 Doesn't bother making small talk.

She just makes short work of my lawn.  Did I say TWICE?  Oh yeah, I did.

Now, does the same old biddie who happens to own a snow blower get all worked up over my 3 billion feet of driveway being shat upon by the sky?

NO!

Durned old biddie.
Have some consistency will ya!!

Not that I'm bitter or anything.
I'm just sore and achy, but at least I have a clean driveway.

Fun.